Work-Life Balance is a Myth. We Need an Exit!!

How did you feel when you woke up and realized it was a Monday morning? Were you excited, or were you sad? If you're someone like me who hates waking up on a Monday morning and eagerly waits for the weekend, this blog is for you. I will tell you how it all went wrong and what we can do about it. So let's get started.

We all had dreams when we were children. Some of us wanted to be film stars, some wanted to be firefighters. But then something happened. We went to school. Our parents, teachers, and even our neighbors said if we study well, we will get the life we want.

So, we did exactly that, got good grades, not always, still went to university, and got a decent-paying job. But in this rush to make something of our life, we all forgot one thing: our childhood dreams. We kinda gave up on them somewhere along the way to go in the default safe path.

But that's okay. Those were just childhood dreams, right?. We didn't know the world then. We didn't know how the system works. At least now we have a job, decent salaries, and are living comfortable, happy lives, right? But Are we? I know that on the outside, everything looks good. But deep down, at least some of you feel something is missing. I definitely do. But do you know what's even worse? We never get time to dig deeper and find what's wrong because we are busy all the time- eight hours a day, five days a week. We can't stop or take a break. We are in a competition where no one wins. Welcome to the rat race.

But what exactly is the ratrace? For me, It's when we work too hard and try to be like everyone else, even if it doesn't make us happy. We feel like we are running fast but we are not getting anywhere we really want to be. It's like following a set rulebook to be successful without knowing if it matches with our definition of success.

But then, the strange thing is that following such a rulebook is also a relief. We look around and see hundreds, thousands, and millions of other people running the same race, and suddenly we feel safe. All these people can't be wrong. Maybe there is something at the end that is worth running towards. 

It's like when the power goes out at home. What's the first thing we do? Light a candle? Call the electricity provider? No, we open the window and check if our neighbor's power is out too. Then we feel better. We can be wrong, but how can everyone be wrong at the same time? And if everyone is right, then where is the problem? But before going deep into that, let's focus on a particular day in our week:

Mondays should ideally be the most exciting, productive day to work. You are rested and recharged after 2 days of rest. You have spent quality time with friends or family. Ideally, you should feel excited like a chimpanzee looking at his favorite brand of bananas. But still, we collectively hate Mondays. Why?

Because after a weekend we are back in office to build a life that we never really dreamed of in the first place. Most of us work for someone else, helping them build their dreams and make money.

And do we receive the same level of value in return? No. Also most jobs take up a large share of our week day, and we get home tired with little time for ourselves. And weekends are no different. We have to do basic life things such as shopping and socializing; before we know it, the week starts all over again.

I don't think that's living. Living is finding time to have new experiences in life and spending time with your favorite people. Not just on weekends. Your kid will not wait until the weekend to take their first step. And there are only 4000 weekends in an average lifespan. Think of it again. You got only 8000 days to spend doing whatever you want. Ask yourself if that's enough. I want to save my Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. But before we check how can do that, let me tell you shortly where I stand with my own life. As I was a child, I wanted to be a pilot.

Because you know pilots are cool. But then, as I grew up, I didn't know where I wanted to be. After graduating from high school, I studied engineering. Not because I really wanted to become one but because I was good at maths. And I'll probably get a good job there. And I did get a decent one. Engineering is basically about creating and building new things, which is exciting. But that's not the job that I do on a day-to-day basis.

There are days when I feel all excited to go to the office. But most of the days are not like that. Don't get me wrong. I am not unhappy as such. My boss and co-workers are all really good people. The salary is decent. I know I am highly privileged to be in my position when people struggle to make ends meet. But I just hated having to be there at a certain time every day, no matter what.

I hated that there was a limit on how much I could earn. And I hated that I didn't have enough freedom to make decisions. I know this is a first-world problem. But it is a problem for me. I am a rat running the exact same race, just that I took a break to think about this and write a blog on this.

But there is one thing, which is often projected as a solution to this. After money, this is the most sought-after thing people look for when choosing a company or career. Work-Life Balance. I have a problem with the concept itself. When we say work-life balance, we are weighing life on one side and work on the other.

Like one is good, and we balance the other with bad. It shouldn't be like that. Work is a fundamental part of what it means to be human, and what we do as work should be meaningful to us. But not in the way how we do it now.

So for some of us, there will be a point when this realization will hit and that we can't go on like this for long. We realize we don't want to spend 80% of our life in an office cubicle. We want to wake up each morning feeling excited about the day. But still the problem is that we don't know how. So we try changing jobs, thinking the new one will make us feel better. We buy faster cars, and bigger houses, hoping they will give our life a purpose.

But the truth is we can't leave this race with traditional methods. That's the reason why normal people don't escape the rat race. We can't do what everyone else does and expect that to bring change. To make a difference, we have to do things differently.

So that leaves us with three options.

• Rob a bank

• Sell our kidney

• Or Build something of our own.

Just kidding. But seriously, if you want an exit, if you want freedom, then you should stop building for others and start building for yourself. I know this sounds scary. And the reason why it sounds scary is not that you won't have a stable income source, or you will lose your status in society. There is an even bigger factor that a 9-5 job brings to our life: structure.

We don't have to wake up every morning staring at the wall, thinking about what we should do today. How we should spend the day is already set for us; we just have to follow it. Uncertainty makes people uncomfortable. It's the same reason people opt for tour packages and guided tours. It takes effort and time to sit down and plan our life, even if that brings more happiness.

Working on our own with no boss and only ourselves to hold us accountable should be scary. That's the truth; and there is only one way to get around it: being brave. We must show enough courage to challenge the status quo and create our own path. We must take time to ask ourselves some basic life questions:

• What is it that makes us happy?

• How do we want a normal day in our life to look like?

• Who do we want to be at the end?

And that's just the first step. It could be that when you start working on your passion, you may not get paid enough. Therefore, you need a strategy to ensure a stable income and avoid starving to death. All of this takes planning, and it all takes time. I am currently doing that. I have written a detailed blog on how I am going about it, so check it out if you want some inspiration.

One thing I can guarantee is that it will be a rough ride. It will not be all sunshine and rainbows in the beginning. There will be many boring, mundane tasks that you will have to do.

The more we learn, the more we will realize that we don't know much. There will be a period where we will have to manage our 9-5 and our own business parallely. Time will be against us, and the desire to give up will be high. How do we keep moving forward then? By focusing on the present, By putting all the energy to finish that next task, taking that next small step, and doing it again and again. And as you travel more on this path, you'll become more and more disconnected from the rat race.

The hard truth is that most are still going to remain in the rat race. For them, the pain of jumping into uncertainty might be bigger than the discomfort of staying in their current routine. And I understand that. But you, you can decide what to do and take the first step out of the rat race. Maybe you will love your new life, or you will feel more comfortable with where you were. But you won't know unless you take that first step.

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